Saturday, May 7, 2016

4 years closer


Today marks four years since you left this earth. I can clearly remember every detail of those last few minutes I held your sweet, perfect little body as I felt your spirit leave. It's hard to remember but something I never want to forget. The peace in that room was overwhelming, confirming to me that we had mad the right decision to let you go. I often question that decision and rely on that peace that I felt. You truly were perfect Quincy. Too perfect for this wicked world. As much as I long for you here with me, I feel peace knowing you don't have to feel the heaviness this life holds. I never have to worry that you will be tempted or hurt.

Quincy so much has happened these last four years since you left. You now have two brothers I know you would adore. I think often about what a great big sister you would be. You would be six this year and the best little babysitter, helper and friend. I know your brothers would adore you. Ryder loves his cousin Halle so much who is just a few weeks older than you. She holds such a special place in my heart as I watch her interact with your brother I can't help but think of you. She is kind and loving to him as I know you would be. I know you would love her as well.

We talk about you and look at pictures of you often Q and even though you aren't here with us you are very much still a part of our family. We will never strop talking about you. You sent a little bit of yourself with your new brother Rhett. I often look at him and see you. It's bittersweet. I know these boys know you and are closer to you than I realize. I also know that you are near me and your dad, I feel you often, and I am so grateful for that. Please help us to stay calm and peaceful so that we can always feel you.

Oh Quincy how we miss you. It's so unreal that you were here and happy and healthy and then gone so quickly. You have helped your dad and I put so much about this life into perspective and make us want to live every day the best we can. We want to give your brothers every opportunity we can, making this life the best we can for them while they are here, while being so aware that we have no control over how long we get to have them. Watch over and protect us Quincy. We love you as much as we did when you were here and cannot wait for the day you can join our family again. Stay strong and be good little girl, help us all do the same.

Love you lots.