One year ago today I took this picture.
I had so many dreams for her.
It wasn't 5 minutes on the road and Quincy was zonked out in her car seat. I took this picture to send to my mom. After I sent it to her I almost deleted it. Its not a great picture. Little did I know it would be one of my last, and because of that, one of my favorites. I treasure every picture I have of Q. I remember almost every minute behind every single picture.
As I think about this time last year I think about how perfect and simple my life was. I think about how content and naïve I was. I often think about what I was doing a year ago, about how different my life was and where I imagined it to be this time of year. I had no clue. Sometimes I wonder if I would have liked to have known that Q wouldn't be with us forever.
I don't think so.
As I think about this day a year ago and think about today, I am sad. I'm sad that after just a few more days I won't be able to say, last year at this time me and Quincy were doing..... But in the same breath, it will be good. Another step forward in the healing process. I miss the simpleness of my emotions. I don't like the heaviness and sorrow I now carry. It's always there. Always. I feel as though I will never be truly content again in this life. I have lots of joy, but I will never have the carefree ness that I once enjoyed. I miss that.
I miss Quincy.