Ryder is so different than Quincy in so many ways. My heart aches so badly for her and I have let that get in the way of bonding with Ryder. I am hurting and I am so afraid to love that intesely again. I’m so scared to let my wall down. To love unconditionally. It has bothered me so much that I haven’t been able to find that connection with my own son.
Until now. The last couple week I have become obsessed. I cannot wait to get home from work to hug and cuddle my buddy. I cannot wait to get up in the morning and hear his little squeal. I love to dress him, change him, bath him and take him everywhere, show him off. It feels so wonderful to feel these things once again. I have been waiting so long to feel this connection. The connection a mother and a child should have.
I need it. He needs it.