I know when bad things happen we are told not to focus on the whys and what ifs. Lately i am consumed with these two words.
What if we never went to Moab? What if I had Q in a different car seat? What if we would have come home earlier? What if Kathy would have answered her phone when we called on our way?
Why did 3 people have to die at once? Why did Quincy have to die? Why didn't God save her? Why did it take so long to get pregnant with Q just to lose her so soon? Why wasn't I warned or somehow prepared for this? Why did God shatter a perfectly happy, content family? Why do I have to live the rest of my life with such pain and grief? Why did He take my happy healthy baby girl and give me a fussy sad little boy? Why did Quincy have to die? Why does He think I can handle this?
Is there really a plan? And if so, why is this one mine? How could God allow anyone to hurt this much?